Black Chick, White Guy
 

Chapter 21
 

The night stretched on forever, but eventually sleep caught up with us around three in the morning. The phone interrupted our peaceful sleep.
 

“Get it,” I muttered into Justin’s arm, which was right in front of my face.
 

“You get it,” he answered back crossly, and I pushed him a little. It was his room, not mine, but he wouldn’t budge. Normally I wouldn’t give in so easily, but we’d had a really long night and he ended up taking some Nyquil so I knew he was tired. I leaned up on my elbow and picked up the phone.
 

“Yeah?” God, was that my voice? I sounded like a man, I swear.
 

“Um, can I speak to Justin?” A girl asking for Justin. You’d think that a red flag would go off in my head or something, but no. I’m clueless.
 

“Yeah, hold on ....” I pushed the telephone against his ear.“ J ... it’s for you ...”
 

“‘Hello?” he said into the receiver, his voice thick from sleeping. “Who is this? Man, I’m f*cking sleeping!” he ripped the phone away from his ear and slammed the receiver down. “Sh*t!”
 

I still didn’t get it.“ Who was that? Why’d you just hang up on them?” Duh, Tara .
 

“Some girl got my room number,” he buried his face in the pillow.“F*ck ... what f*cking time is it?”
 

I know I wasn’t in the best mood in the morning, but he had me beat by a mile, which was weird.All the other times I’d been around him, he was always up and cheerful when I finally opened my eyes.I thought I was cranky in the morning ...
 

“It’s nine-thirty,” I yawned, pulling the comforter over my head and closing my eyes.He pulled it right back down and pulled me up so my head was on his chest.“What time do you have to be up?” I wondered when Mike would come pounding on the door.
 

He coughed a little.“I dunno ... I feel like sh*t..”His voice was hoarse and he sounded horrible, but so does everyone in the morning.I had a feeling he was making this into more of an issue than it really was.But I babied him anyway.
 

“You want me to order some tea or something?”That was pretty much the extent of my nursing, other than sounding sympathetic and giving him some loving.
 

“No ...” he whined, “maybe later.Rub my hair?”His hand took mine and placed it on top of his head and I raked my fingers through it.We’d switched roles.Normally he was the one playing with my hair while I whined and griped about something.I kept running my hand through the curls and he just lay there, loving it.After a few minutes we both fell back asleep, because the next thing I knew, Mike was knocking on the door.
 

“Time to get up!” he practically shouted through the adjoining door.“Don’t make me come in there!”See how it sucks to have an entourage?
 

Justin moaned and covered his face with the pillow.“Alright,” he yelled back.“I’m up.”But he wasn’t.
 

Mike knew it, too.“Let me hear the shower or I’m coming in!”
 

I frowned.“Is he always this f*cking cheery in the morning?”I hate mornings and morning people.And I already hated Mike, him being a morning person just added insult to injury.
 

“Yes,” Justin sounded as annoyed as I felt.He sat up in the bed, taking half the covers with him.“I’m UP!” he shouted louder.And now I was up, too.Damn it.
 

“Ohh-kaay!” Mike sang back, then wandered off somewhere.He had some kind of internal mechanism to know whether Justin and I were still sleeping and lying to him or if we were really up.That man has a creepy sixth sense.
 

“What do you have to do this morning?” I asked him, giving up the fight to sleep and sitting up, too.Scooting back, I leaned against the headboard and he put his head in my lap.
 

“Press.Some sh*t.I don’t know.”He sounded so pitiful that I felt bad for him.They really did have a lot to do -- the group was always running around doing different things.Half the time they didn’t get to sleep until three or four in the morning, only to be right back up in a few hours.And have to look presentable, too.Here’s a hint for you guys to tell when they’ve been out partying the night before -- sunglasses.If there’s no sun and Justin’s in sunglasses, nine times out of ten he’s hungover and hasn’t had any sleep. 
 

He opened his eyes and looked at me. I knew that he’d be pulling out the Ray-Bans this morning -- his eyes were almost crimson, they were so red.“I think I’m dying, T.”
 

For crying out loud, he had like a cough and the sniffles, not pneumonia.I played into it though.“You’ll feel better in a minute,” I crooned to him.Really, I just wanted to go back to sleep.“Take a shower and you’ll feel great, I promise.”That’s what my mom used to tell me and it worked most of the time.
 

After ten more minutes of complaining, he got up and wandered into the bathroom, eventually getting into the shower.I promptly fell back asleep until he shook me awake some time later.It was a good while later, because he was dressed and ready to leave.
 

“Sorry,” I apologized and tried my best to keep my eyes open.He was used to this lifestyle but it was killing me.I was always exhausted around him, trying to keep up.“You gone?”
 

“Yeah, baby, I’m gone.I won’t see you till the game,” he kissed my forehead.He’s no fool, I’m sure my morning breath was kicking.“Mike’s gonna hook you up, I think.Someone will.”I sat up and leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder.
 

“Okay ... your mom said something last night about us riding over together,” I told him.Wow, he smelled really good.“So I’ll talk to her or something ...” It was hard to keep track, what with being sleepy and him looking so awesome.“Good luck at the game.”
 

He winked at me, all cocky.“I don’t need luck, babe, I kick ass.”
 

Please, white boy.“I can take you,” I told him.He didn’t know that my dad made me play basketball and golf for a million years as a kid.I probably could take him, I even won trophies and stuff.For real.
 

He laughed like I’d just said the most ludicrous thing ever.“Man, you’re bugging.Go back to sleep baby, you’re talking nonsense.”
 

I hit his arm.“Oh yeah?I got game too!”Maybe I’d have to break out my balling skills.“We’ll play, watch,” I said confidently.Okay, maybe I couldn’t beat him but I do have skills.And I showed him later, too.
 

“Whatever,” he rolled his eyes and kissed me quickly.“I’m out ... see you later, don’t be talking crazy sh*t when I see you,” he said over his shoulder.I threw a pillow at his back as he left the room.Just as I was settling back down into the pillows, he ran back in, jumped on the bed, grabbed my hand and kissed it.“Love you, T.” 
 

Wow.I never got used to that.
 

“Love you, too,” I whispered back as he ran back out the door in a rush.He was so silly.
 

*~*
 

I knocked lightly, then used my cardkey to open the door to Jen and Sasha’s room.“You guys ready?”
 

Jen motioned with a nod of her head towards the bathroom as she zipped up her denim shorts.“Ask her,” she said angrily, which is totally uncharacteristic of her.What did I miss?
 

Her?” I mimicked her tone, flopping down into a recliner.“What’d Sasha do now?”The shower was running so I knew Sasha was inside.
 

“She won’t tell me!” Jen yelled, running a brush through her hair.“She totally disappeared last night and just rolled in here a few minutes ago.And she won’t tell me where she was!You think she was with Jason Kidd?”
 

Whoa.I’d missed out on a lot in just one night.“Jason Kidd?What?She didn’t come back with you?What the hell did I miss?”
 

Jen filled me in.While Justin and I had been holed up having the most incredible night together, they had gone to another party that Chris and Joey had.Jen said halfway through the party, Sasha disappeared and she couldn’t find her anywhere.“Dani, Danielle and I looked all over for her, Tara .Her ass was gone, she didn’t say bye or anything!So I was up all night, worried, and I was just about to get you when she came in with her hair sticking up all over the place.Can you believe her?”
 

My eyes must’ve been bulging out of my head, because I was floored.“Was she with JC?” I asked, thinking back to how she’d acted at the concert.
 

Jen shook her head.“Nope, I thought of that, too.He was with Bobbee all night.She had to be with Jason Kidd, she isn’t interested in anybody else ... but do you know she wouldn’t tell me where she was?She was acting cute with me!”I’d never seen Jen so indignant before -- she was truly pissed off.I was just glad it wasn’t directed at me.
 

But yeah, why wouldn’t Sasha just tell Jen?She wasn’t secretive -- not that I knew of, but after seeing her moon over JC when she thought no one was looking, I doubted that I knew her as well as I thought I did.I shrugged.“Who knows why she does anything?She’s probably acting cute because you were interested.I bet if we don’t say anything else about it she’ll spill ... she can’t keep a secret from both of us,” I rationalized.It made sense, we always told each other everything.There were no secrets between us for long.Speaking of which ...
 

“Look at this,” I held my arm out for Jen to examine.She looked at it blankly until I shook it,making the bracelet jingle.
 

“Oh my God, did Justin get you that?Girl, that’s from Tiffany’s!” she whooped and I screamed back.
 

“I KNOW!” We jumped up and down, and I remembered that I hadn’t even told her the best news yet.“Wait, read it!”I showed her the charm so she could read what he’d gotten engraved.
 

She put her hand over her heart.“That is the sweetest thing, ever.”Don’t I know it.
 

“Can you believe it?”I admired my bracelet some more.“He loves me, Jen.He told me!”
 

Jen and I were both such romantics, we ate this kind of crap up.Sasha, however, was totally not one and she ruined my moment by coming out of the bathroom just then.
 

“Big deal,” she said, “like we didn’t know that already.You guys are so slow.”Um, how about being happy for me?What a bitch.
 

“Thanks,” I replied, eyeing her.“What crawled up your ass?”But she was already examining the bracelet. 
 

“Hey, he got you something good!That bracelet’s at least $350, I think,” she commented as she sat down and started putting lotion on her legs.
 

“Really?” I didn’t know that.That’s a good amount, I guess, I mean, he had plenty of money but it was the thought that counted ... then I realized that she distracted me.I was mad at her.“Never mind ... what’s your deal?Where the hell were you last night?”I was too curious to pretend I wasn’t interested, and she was smart enough to catch on anyway.
 

She smirked.“No where ... just around.Why?”God, I hated when she was like this.I was getting the info or I’d kill her, by God.
 

“Cut the bullsh*t,” Jen jumped in before I could say anything.She was really mad, which meant that she’d been concerned.Again, I was glad that it wasn’t me she was focusing on.“You could’ve had the common courtesy to at least let me know you were bouncing.Now you want us to kiss your ass to find out details?F*ck that.”As she talked she walked over to the bathroom and slammed the door shut.
 

Sasha rolled her eyes at Jen’s tantrum.“Can’t a girl have some privacy?No one was mad when you rolled out in the middle of the concert last night.”Don’t bring me into your mess, I thought.
 

“That was totally different and you know it,” I informed her.“You knew where I was, I didn’t just disappear into thin air, Sash.She was really worried!Where the hell did you go?”I sat down next to her on the bed, and she took my wrist to see the bracelet better.Again, I got distracted.“Look!” I showed her the inscription.
 

“Aww, that’s so sweet,” she said, actually serious for once.“So you finally said ‘I love you’?Really, girl, it’s about time.I mean, everybody else knew it.”
 

“They did?”Like who?
 

“Yeah!”She started putting on a denim tank dress .“We were talking about it that night when you and Chris acted like idiots and sang, remember?”
 

Did I ever.
 

She went on, “Joey and I were saying how obvious it was.And then after the whole thing at my party when he lost it on the telephone ... it was just obvious.I knew it was only a matter of time,” she shrugged, walking over to the bathroom door.“You finished pouting yet?” she asked Jen, who ignored her.
 

She distracted me again.“Would you stop it?You keep changing the subject ... where were you?”But she wouldn’t answer, just kept smirking while she put on her makeup.How f*cking annoying.
 

“Fine, Sasha.Whatever, keep your stupid secret.”I got up and knocked on the bathroom door to summon Jen.We were supposed to leave for the game soon, and they were taking forever.“Jen, we need to go meet everyone ... are you almost done?”Sometimes I felt like the mother of my little group of friends.So many different personalities, so many conflicts -- and Justin could be added to the list as well.
 

Jen emerged from the bathroom, obviously still mad at Sasha, who was humming to herself as she put on lipstick.I sighed.This was gonna be a long day.
 

“Are you both ready?”No use in trying to grill Sasha.She’d only talk when she was ready.
 

“You guys are so f*ckin’ impatient!” she said unexpectedly.“I was just waiting for both of you to be in the same place so I wouldn’t have to tell the story twice.”She put her hands on her hips.“Do you want to hear this or not?”
 

She was ready.Jen and I, anger forgotten, plopped onto the bed and waited eagerly for her to spill all.Turns out Ms. Sasha got her man, so to speak.The first night they met, she said she poured it on thick, flirting with him but not being overt but just putting her interest out there, and she said she felt some back.They danced, drank a little, and talked some.But the second night, she went to the club dressed in practically nothing, ready to bowl him over.It worked.After about an hour of being there, Mr. Kidd slipped her his room key and Sasha kept it.Half an hour later, they were both in his room.Things happened.Things she’d dreamed about for years.But guess what?
 

“It f*cking sucked!” she wailed, sitting down between us on the bed.“Can you believe that sh*t?All these years, you dream and pray and then you get nothing.Nothing!I would’ve been better off lusting after that JC freak, for all the good it did me!”
 

Jason Kidd didn’t have it going on like all of us thought he did.Can you imagine the irony?For all the sh*t she talked about Justin, the one thing I could say was he most certainly did not suck in bed.
 

Figuratively speaking, of course.
 

But I didn’t say that.Jen and I consoled her for the few minutes she let us.Seems that although she was disappointed, she was still pretty happy with herself.


 

“I set a goal, went after it and scored.And you guys say I have no ambition,” is how Sasha summed it all up.
 

She had a point.Still, I noticed how she mentioned JC when she was complaining about Jason Kidd.Freudian slip, perhaps?I didn’t think so, not after how she acted at the concert.I needed to pay closer attention to those two.And I could do that at the game, which we really needed to get to, if Sasha was done with her dramatics.
 

We met up with Mike at the appointed time and got in the vans to go to the game.Lynnrode with us, so everyone was on their best behavior with no mention of Sasha’s late-night activities.At the venue where the game was held, girls were everywhere, screaming and waving banners.They appeared even more frenetic than usual, to me, I guess because all the celebrities were out on the court in much closer proximity than they normally were.
 

Lynnsuggested going backstage or whatever the behind the scenes place was called -- I guess the locker rooms -- but I wasn’t up for it.I didn’t want to be seen anywhere near Justin after the night before, you know?So Lynnwent off to the back with Lonnie while Mike took us to our seats and there went my plan of staying away from Justin.Our seats were court side, directly behind where the players were.I felt really uncomfortable about being in such an obvious position, but really, what’s the worst that could happen?He’d be playing in the game, it’s not like we’d tongue each other down or anything.Just in case, I felt much safer with Mike and Lynn on one side of me, and Sasha and Jen on the other.
 

We all watched everyone warming up, especially Jason Kidd.Normally I’d be looking at Justin, but I wanted to see if he gave Sasha any special glances.And he did.It was fleeting, but just the one look and smile he gave her made Jen and I look at each other knowingly.When I looked over at Sasha, I saw her looking down and rolling her eyes in disgust.
 

Moving on.All the celebs were out on the court warming up and goofing around.I watched Justin, of course, although we did take time out to make fun of Jermaine Dupri.For obvious reasons.Then Da Brat wandered by and we ended up talking to her for a long time about ‘N Sync fans.She assumed we weren’t fans -- and rightfully so, since the crowd was singing along to their songs and we didn’t know the words -- and asked us what we were doing there.
 

Gee, think we looked out of place?
 

She and Sasha got involved in a long conversation about all the tiny braids she wore all the time and I turned my attention back to the court.Chris was running around acting crazy, and I could see he was about to drive Justin insane.He kept a smile on his face so he wouldn’t look like an ass, but he was really mad.Every time he tried to dribble during the practice shooting, Chris would run up and steal the ball away.The crowd thought it was hilarious and so did I, but he was about a second away from sucker punching Chris, I swear.Chris caught on because he moved on to terrorize Lance.Finally, Lynncame back and the game started.They announced all the players and of course, fans hooted and hollered for the ‘N Sync guys.
 

For the first time, I was really annoyed about them cheering for Justin.It never bothered me before, like at concerts or whatever, but today I just was feeling extra possessive.So many people liked him!I mean, at the concerts it was always dark.I knew fans were there, of course, but I didn’t pay much attention to them.Usually I was completely focused on the concert but at the game, lights were blazing and it was easy to see all the girls running around in baby blue clothing and waving signs around about him.I didn’t like it, not one bit.
 

What’s so weird is that by nature I’m not a jealous person.I’ve always been pretty secure with myself, and anyone I was dating got my complete trust.My motto is “I don’t want to keep anyone that doesn’t want to be kept”.Okay, that was my grandma’s motto, but I’ve borrowed it.So basically my thoughts were that Justin wouldn’t be around me if he didn’t want to, and I’m not gonna kill myself trying to make him want to.If he wanted someone else, so be it.Make sense?Writing it out doesn’t have the same effect, but you get the gist.
 

Anyway.There I sat, next to his mother, of all people, trying not to show how pissed off I was getting.There were just so many girls screaming out for him, all around me.And he was mine!Slowly I began to get a glimmer of understanding for why Bobbee was such a bitch.She probably felt threatened by every female that walks near JC.I hoped I would never act like her -- and I don’t think I ever did.But I will admit that sometimes I really, really wanted to.
 

Luckily,Lynntook my mind off of the slow rage that was building inside of me in the best way possible -- talking about Justin.She and I took a trip down a little road called Memory Laneand boy was it interesting.I did wish that Sasha hadn’t been around to hear some of it, but still, it was really cute.She told me how he always loved to sing, and mentioned how he was on Star Search as “Justin Randall”.Jen and I almost choked on our sodas when she let that one slip.Then she told us how he idolized the New Kids on the Block and used to run around lip-synching to them in school performances.
 

This stuff was priceless.
 

There were other cute stories, like how she used to straighten his curly hair every day for him, or how he taught himself how to moonwalk because he worshipped Michael Jackson.But the best one was how he entered a beauty pageant and won.A pageant with all girls.And he won.
 

“Oh it was so sweet,” Lynngushed, “he just cried and cried, right there on-stage.I have it all on tape, the Star Search, the New Kids stuff, and the pageant.I’ll have to make you a copy.”
 

Oh yeah, Mama Harless was chock-full of interesting ammunition.
 

“Please, please make me a copy,” I begged, holding back my laughter.I knew he’d look adorable and I was dying to see the footage.But I also knew he’d probably rather eat dirt than let me see it.Heh.
 

She promised to get one to me, and just then Justin was called out of the game.He sat down right in front of me and Lynn, looking absolutely gorgeous.I didn’t even care that he was sweaty.
 

“Told you I had game,” he leaned back and said to me over his shoulder.Typical -- he was talking to me but didn’t take his eyes off of the game.I’d fix that in a second.
 

“You also have a trophy from a beauty pageant, I hear,” I said smugly.Sure enough, he whipped his head around to look at me in horror.Then he looked at Lynn.
 

“Momma ... no!”Oh yes.
 

“What?”Lynnwas clueless to everything going on.
 

“You told her about the pageant?” He looked mortified.It was nice to see that look on someone else’s face for a change, since I was always the one sporting it, usually.
 

“Well, yeah,” she said, looking exasperated.“It was something to be really proud of, honey!You beat all those girls, you practically swept the whole thing!I don’t see why I can’t brag a little--”
 

“Okay, Momma,” he cut her off.Turning back around, he buried his face in the towel he held.I leaned forward to talk right into his ear.
 

“J ... I think it’s adorable!”But he knew I was f*cking with him.He took the towel off and shook his head.“Justin?Are you listening to me?”I started teasing him and he couldn’t help but laugh, making me laugh too.
 

Tilting his head closer to mine, he said, “I heard every word you said.And this subject is never to be mentioned again, Tara .Ever.”Yeah, right.
 

“Dream on, Teen Pop Star.”I was getting that tape from Lynn ASAP and was already considering making T-shirts from the stills on it.“And what’s this about you doing New Kids’ imitations?”
 

“Oh my God,” he moaned, still laughing.“I’m gonna kill her.I swear.Mom, I’m killing you later!” he called out to her, and she leaned on his opposite shoulder.
 

“Oh relax, Justin,” she told him.“You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about, you were just the cutest thing in that pageant and I don’t care who knows it.”Done telling him off, she tousled his hair and sat back to put her focus on the game.
 

Then he had the nerve to try and blackmail me!“I put up with your singing, T.You owe me!”Put up with?Owe him?How quickly things change!
 

“I thought you said that my singing was music to your ears?”Lying creep.
 

“I, uh ... oh sh*t!Gotta go!”And he stood back up, ready to go back into the game.He wasn’t getting off that easy, I planned to discuss my singing with him later.
 

Overall, though, I had fun.After that little talk with Justin, I noticed more fans checking me out, which made me uncomfortable.But I ignored them and gabbed with Lynn and my girls.Lynnasked us all sorts of questions about ourselves and we all acted like sweet, perfect girls.We’re good at that brown-nosing stuff.We barely paid attention to the game, mostly cheering whenever the rest of the crowd did.I checked out Justin’s skills and he was pretty good, but I knew I could get a few baskets on him.His team actually won, so he was really happy.It’s kind of scary, how seriously he takes basketball.Reminded me of my dad, who absolutely had to win every game all the time.Only Justin didn’t go around cursing out other parents and referees, although I bet he wanted to on some of those calls.
 

When the game was over, everyone involved took some pictures and did press while the fans filed out.We hung down by our seats where the bodyguards were.I hate to say it but I was really becoming paranoid about being seen with Justin after seeing how overzealous his fans could be.That’s why I ended up hanging around Joey on the court after it was over.All of the guys were doing press, but Joey either wasn’t interested or was done talking, because me and Jen ended up playing a little ball with him on the court.We were basically playing horse, not taking it seriously, when Justin came up and stole the ball from Jen.
 

He dribbled over to me.“Where’s your skills, girl?Thought you could play?”Yeah, I could play, but not in the denim skirt I had on.How unfair.But I tried to do a little something.I guarded him for a few seconds, then sort of hit him in the stomach and stole the ball.I even made a basket!
 

“In yo’ face!” I yelled, holding my hands up like I was Michael Jordan or something.We were so silly.
 

Doubled over, he acted like I’d really hurt him.“Owww,” he moaned.“You cheated.”I didn’t feel sorry for him at all.
 

Usher came up beside him and shook his head.“You let a girl play you, man?”Everyone started clowning Justin, which isn’t a good thing to do.He can be a real brat, and ended up leaving the court because he couldn’t take it.
 

Sucker.
 

But it was all in good fun.I didn’t go back to where he was, Mike had planned for us to drive back to the hotel and I knew I would see him there.But again, I saw girls looking and whispering while we waited for Mike to leave.
 

“I hate this,” I whispered to Jen and Sasha.We were standing on the court talking to Dani, looking sort of conspicuous.The only females on the court were relatives of the group, celebrities, or girlfriends.We obviously weren’t family or celebrities, and I could feel eyes looking from every direction.
 

Dani put her arm around me.“Don’t worry about it,” she said sweetly.“You’ve gotta learn to just ignore that stuff, Tara .”
 

Easy for her to say.“How?I hate being on display like this,” I complained.Justin wasn’t even around and people were giving me funny looks.“How do you deal with this crap?”
 

She shrugged.“I love Chris.So ... I just deal.He makes all the sh*t I have to put up with worthwhile.”
 

She was right.I’d put up with almost anything to be with Justin, but this was going to take some getting used to.And just when I thought it wouldn’t get any worse, it did.
 

“Excuse me ... excuse me?!”We all turned to see three girls standing on the bleachers, waving for us to come over.
 

Dani sighed and put on a fake smile.“I hate this,” she told us before walking over to the girls.She talked to them for a second or two and then turned and beckoned for me to come over as well.I looked at Sasha and she nodded.
 

“Go ahead ... go see what they want.”
 

“I don’t want to!You come with me,” I pleaded, hating myself for being so whiny.
 

She shook her head.“I’m not always gonna be around, you need to handle it yourself.”I really hated it when she was reasonable.
 

“Jen?”She wouldn’t let me down.
 

“Uh uh.Go.”And she was supposed to be the nice one.I sort of grunted and walked over to Dani.
 

“Hey, Dani, what’s up?”I smiled at the girls who were scrutinizing me from head to toe.They looked to be in their mid-teens, and they were cute.Sort of.
 

“They wanted to ask you something,” she told me.
 

“We asked her to call you over, can we get a picture of you guys?” one of them asked.This had to be a joke, right?
 

“A picture of me?Why?”I couldn’t help asking, I really wanted to know.Exactly why did they want a picture of me?If they wanted one so bad, they could’ve taken it during the game.There was no reason they should have a posed photo of me.None whatsoever.
 

She gave me a knowing look.“You’re Tara , aren’t you?”What the f*ck?
 

“No ...” What I really wanted to do was ask how the f*ck they knew my name, but that was being overly rude.No, actually, it wasn’t.“Why did you think that?”My tone had gone from pleasant to decidedly hostile.
 

“Some girl told us you’re dating Justin, aren’t you?”My God, he wasn’t lying!These people were as bad as the f*cking Secret Service ... 
 

“My name is Gladys,” I hastily improvised.“I don’t even know anybody named Tara .”I prayed that Dani hadn’t told them my name.
 

She hadn’t, thank God.She nodded and backed me up.“Yeah, we don’t know a Tara .Sorry.”
 

Another girl spoke up.“But somebody saw you with him in D.C., or some girl named Tara ... aren’t you from D.C.?”She sounded really upset, but not as upset as I was.Was nothing sacred?How did they already know that I was from D.C. and know my name?I was getting really angry, and I think Dani noticed because she got me away from there fast.
 

“Oh look, our friends are calling us,” she pointed to Sasha and Jen.“It was nice meeting you, we really have to go.”Taking me by the arm, she pulled me back over to my friends.
 

“You’ve really gotta get your story straight,” she advised me once we were out of earshot from the girls.
 

Sasha interrupted.“Get what straight?What happened?”
 

I sputtered, “Those girls!They knew my name was Tara and that I’m from D.C.!They even asked me if I was the girl Justin was with in D.C.!Can you believe this sh*t?”I was shaking from head to toe, I don’t know if it was from anger or fear.I felt invaded.
 

“We warned you about this,” Dani reminded me.“They just know stuff, nobody knows how.Maybe they heard someone call your name, I don’t know.But even if you lie, they’ll catch on soon.”At the rate they were finding out information, they’d have my school records before I left Atlanta.
 

This sucked more than anything else -- lack of privacy.Sure, the guys sign up for it -- they even ask for it almost, by making themselves celebrities.But I was not a celebrity!I was a private citizen and this wasn’t fair.
 

“What’d you tell them?” Jen inquired.“You lied?”
 

“I told them my name was Gladys,” I admitted, and Sasha started cracking up.
 

“Good idea!That’s hilarious, girl.”She’s a big help in times of trouble, huh?
 

Jen looked thoughtful.“Maybe you need to talk to Justin about this, you know?Because Dani’s right, eventually people will figure out who you are.I mean, Mike’s been with you almost the whole time you’ve been here ... they know you’re somebody.”
 

Dani agreed.“Exactly.You need to talk to Justin and figure out how you guys are gonna work this, like, if you’re gonna tell people you’re together or whatever.But I can tell you from my own experience, lying is gonna catch up with you.They’re that good.”I looked at her miserably and she laughed.“Cheer up, girl, it’s not that bad!Just talk to Justin about it, he’ll know what to do.I gotta go find Chris, see you later.”A quick hug later, she was gone.
 

And I was still mad.Mike finally showed up to take us back to the hotel, and I fumed the entire way, not talking to anyone.The whole incident was just freaky, the way they knew things about me already.Was there some kind of secret network of fans that went around solving mysteries or something?I didn’t know how to deal with all of it, except to follow Dani’s advice and talk to Justin.I was sure he’d had girlfriends before and would know what we should do.So when we got back to the hotel, I went right to his room and sat in a chair to wait for him.
 

He breezed in a little bit later, on top of the world.“Hey cheater,” he said casually, tossing his bag onto the floor.He walked over and sat on the arm of my chair.“We gotta start getting ready soon.”We were going to another party scheduled after the game, but I wasn’t exactly in a party mood.
 

“T?”He leaned over, putting his face in front of mine.“What’s wrong now?”
 

I was beginning to feel like a real drag, always looking upset.But I couldn’t help it, dating him was like being in a minefield -- you had to tread very carefully or you’d step on a bomb and be caught unaware.I hesitated, then told him.“Dani said I should talk to you,” I told him.
 

“About what?”
 

“Fans.”
 

He gestured with his hand for me to continue.“What about them?”
 

“At the game, these girls were talking to Dani and they asked her to call me over, and J, they knew my name and that I was from D.C.!Can you believe that?I swear I’ve never even seen them before in my life, and they knew stuff about me.So I lied.”
 

He didn’t look the slightest bit surprised.I understand why now, because their fans really are like the FBI -- they know everything.“What’d you say?” he asked calmly.
 

I sighed.“That my name wasn’t Tara , it was Gladys.”
 

He burst out laughing, almost in hysterics.“Gladys?Oh my God, T.You’re crazy!”
 

I didn’t find any of this funny.“What was I supposed to say?I wasn’t confirming anything for them!How do they know all this stuff about me, Justin?This is creepy and I don’t like it.”
 

He pulled me up from the chair to stand in front of him.“Baby ... I can’t do anything about what they find out.I don’t know how fans get information, but they get it all the time.Maybe they heard Jen or somebody call you Tara . If one fan heard it, it spreads like wildfire.It’s just ... how things are for me.”
 

Exactly.“For you, Justin, not me.Why are they investigating my life?I’m not famous.”Seriously, I didn’t understand why they had any interest in me.Just because I was dating Justin?What would finding out my personal information do, like, how exactly would it help them in their pursuit of him.“What, are they fans of me now?Do you know they even asked to take a picture of me?”
 

Again, he looked unfazed.“Well ... they’re gonna do that.I mean, they do it to everybody’s girlfriends.Didn’t Dani tell you?”
 

“Why, Justin?”I was so angry.I still am not sure why, other than the fact that this was all just ... weird.“Why do they want a picture of me by myself?If I was with you I could sort of understand.Well, not really -- I mean, when I was a New Kids fan, the last thing I wanted to see was them with another girl.Much less a picture of the girl all by herself!”
 

“I have no idea,” he said, rubbing my back.“I’ve never understood it either.But T, this is how it is.You don’t have to put yourself out there and pose for pictures or anything, but they’re gonna try to find sh*t out about you.It’s just ... this is how it works for me.I guess we should’ve talked about it before you came here, I mean, this place is crawling with fans from everywhere.I didn’t think about it, letting you know how things would be.”
 

Thanks a lot.A little warning would’ve been nice.
 

His face was serious now.“I don’t know what to say ... this is how my life is.I want you to be around me, Tara.But if you are, people are gonna try to get in our business, both of us.Mike and Eric and everybody will make sure you’re safe, but three’s gonna be drama sometimes.Not between you and me, I hope, because we’re gonna always be straight with each other.But annoying sh*t’s gonna come up sometimes and I can’t do anything about it.Can you deal with that?”
 

I was silent, thinking about what he said,No way was I giving him up, but really, was I ready to have people nosing into my business?Technically I didn’t even have any business, but just on principle ... could I handle it?I looked at him, and he looked worried.Worried about me wanting to be with him, I thought, and that was the last thing he should ever worry about.
 

I sat down in his lap and put my arms around his neck.“I think I can deal with anything to be with you.I just ... I don’t want to be ... I don’t know ... like Bobbee, she’s always holding hands with JC everywhere they go, just like throwing it in people’s faces.I don’t want to be like that ... I mean, we know how we feel about each other and that’s enough for me.You know?”
 

He relaxed some, and made a sad face -- playfully.“You don’t want to claim me publicly?”
 

I pinched his cheek hard.“You idiot!No, that’s not it.I just want to stay ... in the background.I don’t need people to know about us, like, fans or whatever.It’s mean for one thing.”
 

“Mean how?”
 

“Mean like, if I was a fan of yours--” I began, and he cut me off.
 

If?”Geez.So sensitive.
 

“You know I’m a fan, but you know what I mean!If I was a fan and I came to meet you somewhere, I wouldn’t want to see you hanging on somebody.It’s so extra ... when couples hang all over each other in public.It’s either gross or makes other people feel bad.That’s what I mean.”I hoped I was making sense.
 

“So what you’re basically saying is, I can’t grab your ass in public?”One-track mind.
 

“Basically,” I answered, shaking my head.“You know, let’s just stay low-key.”
 

His hands began to wander over my legs.“But in private, I can do whatever I want, right?Like this ... and this ..”He kissed my neck as his hands brushed against my thighs.I sighed, totally content in his arms.
 

“Yep ... anything you want.”Anything, anytime.
 

Squirming a little, he ended up sitting in the chair, with me in his lap, my legs thrown over the side of the chair.“I don’t think we ever did it in a chair, did we?”As he talked, he lifted my shirt and pulled it up over my head, then began working on unfastening my bra.
 

I watched him as he bit his bottom lip, deep in concentration until the bra was on the floor.“Not that I can recall,” I said, distracted by what his tongue was doing to my breasts.My hands slid into his hair and I arched my back, pulling him closer to me.“Are we gonna try now?”
 

“Mmm hmm,” he didn’t stop what he was doing and I rested my cheek on the top of his head.He made me feel so good ... I wanted to stay like that forever.But he pulled away from me.“Stand up for a second, baby,” he directed and I followed.He undid the button on my skirt, then pulled the zipper down.Within seconds I stood naked before him.
 

“Your turn,” I pulled him up and took off his shirt while he got rid of his shorts and shoes.Once he was undressed, he pulled me against him and kissed me softly, running his hands up and down my back.He moved slowly, taking his time kissing me.Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, which was good because I wanted it to last as long as possible.Somehow he managed to sit back down without taking his lips away from mine, arranging me so I was straddling him.
 

I felt him brushing against me, ready to enter, and I pulled away from our kiss to look at him.Our eyes were locked as I slowly sank down onto him.As much as I wanted to keep watching him, I couldn’t keep my eyes from closing -- it felt that good.My head fell forward to rest on his neck as our lower bodies connected.
 

Such bliss.
 

We didn’t move at first, except for him wrapping his arms around me to hold me closer.
 

Tara ...” It took immense effort, but I lifted it just enough to see him.
 

“Yeah?”My voice was breathless, almost a whisper.He slid his hand up my back into my hair, lifting my head so that we were face to face.
 

“I love you,” he said softly, and began to move against me.My hips found their rhythm, and we moved together, not speaking but saying volumes to each other with our eyes.I felt hypnotized; I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his.Justin’s eyes are so dark, a midnight blue color, especially when we made love.They pulled me in -- whenever I wondered how much he loved me, all I needed to do was look into his eyes and I could see the answer right there.
 

An eternity passed.Our lower bodies moved together but for once, we didn’t kiss.My eyes never left his until I couldn’t hold back any longer, until he pushed against me so hard, touching just that right spot.My eyes fluttered, and I struggled to keep them open, to keep looking at the man I loved.
 

“Let go, baby,” he whispered softly, still watching me.“Let me feel you ...”And that was all it took.Myhead fell back, my eyes closed and I let out a moan as my body contracted, squeezing around him tightly.
 

“Oh yeah, Tara,” he spoke in that half-whisper that I loved so much, then he followed right behind me, growling low in his throat.At last our mouths met and we breathed together, unable to kiss but needing that connection.He pushed one final time and I felt him pulsing inside of me.All conscious thought gone, only feeling and reaction.I didn’t know where he ended and where I began, we were one body, one quivering mass of pleasure. I lay my head on his shoulder while my breathing slowed down and my heart stopped racing.He sounded as affected as I did, his chest rose and fell just as rapidly as mine.
 

“Wow,” was all I could manage to say.
 

“Good Lord,” he responded, still panting.“If I knew sex would get this good, I would’ve said I love you a long time ago.”
 

“Justin!”I pinched his arm hard, laughing.“Shut up!”
 

“I was just kidding,” he told me, kissing my forehead.“Sex never was and never will be a problem for us, T.”
 

Word up, Justin. He was so right. I needed to get up and shower, and start getting dressed for the party but I was too comfortable to move. Unfortunately, his cell phone started ringing.
 

“Can you grab that, baby?” He had his head thrown back on the chair, eyes closed. “I’m so f*cking tired ... I can’t move.”
 

Rolling my eyes, I leaned over on the floor, dug his cell phone out of his shorts and flipped it open. “Hello?
 

It was a girl. “Justin?” After this morning, I was familiar with the drill. Another fan bugging him
 

I let out an annoyed sigh. “Who’s calling?” If he didn’t recognize the name, I’d just hang up on her. But then the girl threw a monkey wrench in my plan. And my life
 

“It’s Britney.”

 

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