The club we went to, The Chili Pepper, was jumpin', jumpin'.There was no concert scheduled for that night, so everyone associated with the group descended upon the nightclub to rock the house.And rocking it we were.
 

As was their usual habit, we all met at an arranged time to go down to the fleet of SUVs and vans that would take us to the place.It was interesting to see my girls meet the 'other' girls.Chris' girlfriend (I couldn't believe he had one, either) Danielle was there, along with Bobbee and Joey's girlfriend Kelly.Dani seemed really nice and together -- you couldn't see what she and Chris talked about.At least as well as I knew him at that point.Kelly was nice but didn't look like Joey's type.Although from what I gather, females were basically his type.Sasha, of course, already knew Bobbee, but Jen was only just receiving that pleasure.I knew Bobbee would have a fit when she saw her, and I was right.
 

In a weird way, Jen was like the Black version of Bobbee.We even called her Black Barbie when we wanted to piss her off. They had the same hair and same hairstyle, same figure, even similar features -- Jen's mom was White, so her skin was pale as well.She and Bobbee looked so much alike that they could've even been cousins.That's why I was surprised that JC hadn't gone for her that first night in Philly, drooling over her like he did with Sash.But what woman can figure out men?
 

Both Justin and I thought it was hilarious how Bobbee fumed over in the corner of the elevator banks but was afraid to be overt about it. Let's just say Sasha was holding it down for the Maryland clique.Bobbee was terrified of Sasha from the moment she laid eyes on her and I never knew why.Sure, she's belligerent and loud-mouthed but she's never actually fought anyone.Usually she just curses people out so bad that they crawl away and are never heard from again, but she wouldn't do anything physical.She might break a nail or something.From time to time Justin would egg Sasha on in her bad treatment of Bobbee, especially when things began to escalate between her and JC, but I got him to ease up on that.Really, though, if she'd smacked the sh*t out of Bobbee I don't think anyone would've cared -- the bodyguards adored Sasha and couldn't stand Bobbee.But Sasha really didn't need to be charged with assault and battery, you know?
 

And yeah, I said once things escalated between JC and Sasha.Haven't you guys found 'The Sasha Chronicles' on the net yet? ;-)
 

Back to that night.We all got to the club in one piece and started drinking right away.I was glad that Justin's mom hadn't come along, which she sometimes did according to him.I needed to unwind and let loose and I couldn't imagine partying with my own mom.He said she was cool as sh*t about partying, and I later found out he was right.
 

A million drinks later and I wasn't feeling so hot.At first it had been great; we danced to every song in the world.They even played my jam, making me wish they had a karaoke machine in there so I could sing about Ol' Dirty Bastard getting his money.My dream was to be in that video dressed in seventies' gear, screaming about how I had Dirty's money.So my girls and me acted the fool when that came on, we all just partied it up and were pissy drunk.When the adrenaline wore off, PMS and cramps kicked in bad.I ended up sitting at a booth we'd taken over in VIP with Mike, pitifully leaning on Jen who was trapped in by Mike.Soul Brother #1 was laying the mack down, getting his swerve on.Justin was breaking it down in the middle of the dance floor; I think he and Sasha were leading the crowd in some warped version of the Electric Slide.I so wanted to join in but ...ugh. 
 

"So then, you know, I figured being a bodyguard might be the way to go,” Mike explained to a totally uninterested but polite Jen.I felt so bad for her being trapped -- he hadn't moved away from her for a second unless it was job-related.Joey slid in on the other side of the booth, next to me, and grabbed his drink. 
 

"She need rescuing?"See why I adore him?A nice, sweet, fun guy ... totally onto how Mike can monopolize a girl.If I wasn't in love -- um, lust, with his boy, I could see myself hooking up with Joey.After having him thoroughly tested for STD's, of course. 
 

I nodded, looking at him hopefully.Jen had been forced to hang out with Mike in Philly and I still felt guilty about that, too.She'd already been disappointed when we found out that Jordan Knight wasn’t coming because his girlfriend had given birth to his son, another crushing blow.She's always planned on having his firstborn, just as I'd planned on having Donnie's years ago.But that's another story.Joey didn't even hesitate, just got up and tapped Mike on the shoulder, telling him that Jen owed him a dance.She ran away without looking back, grateful for the reprieve, leaving a crushed Mike.With me.If I was stuck with him, I hadn't thought my plan through too carefully, had I? 
 

Then my ego was crushed when Mike got up and abandoned me to go talk to some hootchies.Damn.How much lower can you get?Luckily, Justin rescued me. 
 

I told you before how nosy he is, didn't?If I didn't, I'll say it again.He's so f*ckin' nosy that it's worth writing twice.Don't ever think that he doesn't remember you or know who you're talking to and who you said to whom and when.And who you danced with, where he last saw you, whatever.He has a lot going on in his life professionally, but then again he's bored a lot of the time socially. 
 

Does that make any sense?He doesn't talk to a lot of people really, so he's overly interested in what others do.He'll eavesdrop, gossip, whatever, he just is plain, old-fashioned nosy.I used to draw little cartoons of him with a rag tied around his head, hanging out wet clothing on a clothesline with other women, exchanging gossip.He'd get so mad but it was true!He's like an old wash woman.It's cute but sad, because that's how he learns about how other people live because he never interacts with them. 
 

So anyway because of his nosiness, he noticed I was alone and also that I wasn't feeling great.I didn't tell him that but like I said, he's so nosy that he was watching me from the dance floor and saw me grimacing.The only reason I didn't tell him is because I didn't want to ruin his night but he caught on anyway. 
 

"What's wrong, T?" Wow, he was all sweaty and had been drinking more than I realized.I had to lean back a little; the scent of whiskey on his breath was so strong. 
 

"My stomach," I whined, closing my eyes and leaning on him.We were all in VIP so I didn't feel weird about being affectionate.Actually I'd had plenty to drink too, so I doubt I would've cared either way. 
 

"You having cramps, baby?"His hand wound around my waist and rubbed my midriff through the thin material of my shirt."That better?" 
 

"Yeah," I whimpered.I'm sure you've noticed that I acted like a big, fat baby around him sometimes.I do, and I don't care.Wouldn't you want him rubbing your stomach, too?Thought so.And then he went and ruined the sweet moment. 
 

"You know what's good for cramps?" How the heck would you know, is what I wanted to ask, but instead I shook my head.I'm so dumb. 
 

"Orgasms."So, so stupid am I. 
 

"I walked right into that," I answered, covering his hand with mine so he'd keep rubbing.It wasn't doing much for pain but it felt good. 
 

"They do!See, the cramps are like contractions, almost, and they--" I gave him a look to stop his medical analysis."Okay, but for real, I do have something better for that.And it's not sex-related.Well maybe with you it is," he winked at me slyly.And I knew. 
 

"Pot?" 
 

"Weed, T," he corrected me."Only little kids in the suburbs go around saying pot."Umm, what exactly did he thing he was, or would be if he wasn't singing?But I knew better than to mention that. 
 

"Whatever, weed, then," I said irritably."How does that help?" 
 

"Relaxes you," he explained and it made sense.Nothing had ever relaxed me like getting high.And as bad as my stomach felt, I was willing to give it another go. 
 

"You got some?" 
 

He looked at me like I was crazy, which was likely considering all the drinks I'd had."What do you think?Yeah ... we all do.Wanna go smoke?"My response was to jump up, grab his hand and drag him up from the booth. 
 

"Where can we smoke?" I asked as I followed him through the club.He stopped to talk to his crew and we ended up being joined by Chris, Joey P., JC, Trace and Bobbee.Even Sasha tagged along to see how it was done.Joey and Jen refused and I flashed on how perfect they'd be together, if he wasn't a male slut and dating someone. 
 

We found this tiny room and all huddled together.Everyone seemed to have a joint or a blunt, and I felt like I was in an episode of Cops.How lame is it -- or good, actually -- that they had to explain to Sasha and me what a blunt was.And how sadder -- or even better-- that neither of us knew how to smoke one?I'm actually proud of that rather than ashamed.These guys are so jaded that they make you feel crazy for not knowing normal things about illegal drugs.And Bobbee -- let's just say that I wouldn't be surprised if she was their drug dealer, as knowledgeable as she was. 
 

A little bit of hacking, a little bit of choking, and I was floating high above any pain in a drug-induced haze.If you've never tried it, don't.It's really too good a feeling to turn down, especially when you're doubled over with cramps.But cramping was now a mere memory and I got down with my BOYFRIEND (forgive me, but it's the first time I've typed it and I wanted to emphasize it).Sasha didn't indulge, good girl that she is, just observed closely for future reference, she said.I swear if Jason Kidd had been there she's have been giving shotguns like an expert. 
 

Speaking of Jason Kidd, he showed up just as we all went back out on the dance floor.Since most of the group was hanging out together -- Justin, JC and Chris -- he walked over to say hello.  No one had noticed him but Sasha and me-- and I only did because she clutched one of my hands in a death grip and twisted it into this painful pretzel type thing.So the guys were all talking away when he came walking up.What happened next ... well, you'll see.Here goes: 
 

Chris was telling the some story that no one really found funny; we were just high and standing around him in a daze.Then all of a sudden Sasha-- who thinks Chris is lame and hasn't laughed at anything he's ever said, ever, burst into this high-pitched, fake laugh.I mean, it didn't sound fake unless you really know her, and everyone had pretty much caught on to how nasty she can be, so their heads swiveled around to look at her in shock. 
 

Then their eyes bugged out when she laid a hand on Chris' arm -- and said "Oh God, Chris, you're so funny!You're going to make me spit out my drink!" I had to cover my face with my hand or I would've spit out my drink -- on Sasha.See, Jason Kidd had come over and she was putting on her nice act.I'd seen it many times before and wasn't shocked, but this was a bit over the top.She could've said something to JC or Justin even.But Chris?Still, the looks on their faces were amazing and I wish I'd had a camera.Brian Littrell from Backstreet might as well have walked up and said he wanted to join *N Sync, the way they looked. 
 

So Jason said hi and everyone made small talk for a while.Almost before anyone -- except me -- knew it, Sasha had somehow sidled over next to him and was clutching his arm as they meandered over to the bar for a drink to take his edge off of from being so nervous about the game. 
 

Yeah.She really said that.And he bought it.He's not as cool as I thought. 
 

Off they went, buddies going to drink as if they'd known each other forever.Jen appeared out of nowhere beside me and raised her hand up in a silent high-five, which I gave right back to her.Justin and the guys turned back to me, eyes big like little kids. 
 

"What the f*ck was that?" Justin blurted out, gesturing with the drink he held and the rest of the group all nodded at me and Jen, confused. 
 

"She likes him," Jen said simply, as if that answered all of their questions.I nodded in agreement, but they all still looked lost so I helped them out. 
 

"She can be nice if she likes someone," I explained.Sasha could be the sweetest person in the world if she liked you.Sometimes she could.On a rare occasion.None of them believed me anyway, so it didn't matter.We spent a good amount of time watching to Sasha get her mack on, which she so did in a huge way.But then some rap song came on and Justin and I hit the floor again for seemed like hours, getting busy.I was sweaty, sleepy and tired after awhile, and I hated being a party pooper but I really wasn't used to hanging out like this.Justin picked up on it and pulled me off the floor. 
 

"You're not feeling good again, are you?"I'm supposed to be drinking his young ass under the table, not the way other way around.But he got me every time. 
 

"No... but I'm okay!We're having fun, let's stay, J!"I hated to be the old lady he had to drag back to bed.Sometimes I felt like there was a decade between us instead of just a few years.Right now was one of those times. 
 

"Uh huh, I had fun.We're going out again tomorrow or whatever.I wanted you to come here so I could spend time with you, baby.Let's chill at the hotel, I'll get Eric.C'mon."And it was a simple as that, he took my hand and lead me off in search of a way home. 
 

How can you not love that? 
 

~*~ 
 

"What're you thinking about?"I asked Justin.We were lying in bed surrounded by junk food wrappers -- potato chips, cupcakes, Doritos, whatever we could get out of the hotel's vending machine.Marijuana must give you the munchies, I didn't know because we always just had sex whenever I smoked.Which was also on my mind, but out of the question.Oh, I was thinking about it a lot but I didn't want to try anything.I felt yucky, no matter how horny I was. 
 

And I was horny. 
 

"Your girl," he answered, stuffing a handful of potato chips into his mouth."What ... I mean, how ... she was like, so..." He looked confused and his words trailed off.He had to have meant Sasha; he hadn't stopped shaking his head all night. 
 

"So what?"He was sitting up while I lay with my head in his lap.I licked the cream from a Twinkie from around my mouth, and then crammed the rest inside.I was starving."So nice?" 
 

"Well... yeah.Nice?Never knew she could be."He was gazing down at me now, watching me lick my lips, I knew. 
 

I laughed."You think I'd be friends with a bitch?" 
 

"Well. Yeah."I laughed again, because as much as I wanted to defend her, he was right.She was a bitch, but not always. 
 

"She's a bitch, but not all the time.She's more like ... blunt.To the point.I think it's refreshing, you know?I never have to worry about where I started stand with her, what she's thinking, nothing ... she puts it all right out there." 
 

"That's the f*ckin' truth," he commented, reaching down and swiping some cream off my cheek with his finger, then sucking on it thoughtfully.I watched his tongue swirl around his finger and wished he'd used his tongue to take it off of me."You guys are just so different, I guess."
 

"Not more different than you and Chris," I pointed out."Or you and Lance.You guys aren't alike at all."Truer words were never spoken, man. Lance was really nice but he seemed to exist on the outer fringes of the group.It was like the rest of the spoke some foreign language and he translated it in his head to catch on a few seconds later. 
 

"Touché," he admitted.Looking down at me, his eyes looked far away.I waited for him to fill me in on his thoughts, but he kept staring, so I went on. 
 

"Besides, we're not really that different.She just says what I'm thinking and don't have the guts to say," I explained about my friend."She talks for me and Jen, Jen would be a f*ckin' doormat if it weren't for me and Sash."That was the truth.She was so nice that she had Mike thinking that he actually had a chance with her!If that ain’t nice, then tell me what is. 
 

"Baby, you're not that mean!" He sat up straighter, sounding a little surprised.If only he could really read my mind ... he'd have a huge shock coming. 
 

"Hmph," was all I said."You have no clue about what I think."Never let a guy know what's on your mind, my dad always said and he'd been so right.Mysterious and enigmatic, that's me. 
 

Snort. 
 

But I tried to be. 
 

"Oh yeah?"Here we go, he'd start with the twenty questions."What'd you think about me when we first met, then?" 
 

Sure enough. Did I call it or what? 
 

I pretended to think it over awhile he played with my hair."You know you're gonna make me sleepy doing that," I stalled for time 
 

"I'll wake you back up.Answer the question."No stalling, then. 
 

"Umm.... I thought ...I don't know!This is stupid, J!" 
 

"No, it's not!I can tell you what I thought about you the first second I saw you!"There goes my plan to expose him for not remembering me, either. 
 

"You can?What?"I sat up only to have him push me right back down. 
 

He sighed."I asked you first, T.Then I'll tell you." 
 

Fine."Okay, geez!"I thought it over for real this time."I thought you smelled really, really awesome.Because I fell into you, remember?So I didn't see your face, but I remember smelling you and being like wow."There. 
 

He looked less than impressed.So I went on. 
 

"Because you had on Fahrenheit, and it's, like, my favorite ever, J!I totally remember it." 
 

Silence. 
 

"J?"Look, I fell into him for crying out loud, how great could my first impression be? 
 

He started chuckling and I hit him."Stop teasing me!Now tell me what you thought!" 
 

"Ahh, okay.I remember thinking you had this great head of hair," he said softly, playing with the tendrils that framed my face, "and it covered my entire face.It was all over me and you smelled so good, too, but I don't know what it was.It's whatever you wear all the time." 
 

"It's Fracas," I told him."You really like it?"I'd been wearing the same fragrance for years, never finding anything else I liked as much.
 

He bent down and sniffed me."Yep... reminds me of you.Don't stop wearing it T.I got that sh*t all over all my clothes, I think of you whenever I smell it." 
 

I felt warm all over.Yay!But I couldn't keep quiet. 
 

"Baby ...it's called a washing machine.Use it, okay?"We laughed and he planted a kiss on the tip of my nose. 
 

"Yeah, yeah ... so what else did you think when we first met?"Back to that again.I crinkled my nose, trying to remember.The memories had been replaced with so many new ones, it was hard to recall. 
 

"I thought you were tall, and your eyes, like, grabbed me.It was weird, you know?Like, if someone had told me that I'd get sprung on you that first day, much less sleep with you and abandon my best friend, I’d have thought they were crazy," I said honestly. 
 

He sniffed, as if put out."Yeah, you were into Jordan Knight."Nuh-uh, baby, I was into you. 
 

"Nope," I informed him loftily."I liked him and supported him, yeah, but I never liked him like that.I was a Donnie girl." No use pretending, right? 
 

He sniffed again.“Whatever.I guess I should be glad they brought you to me, right?"That reminded me.I needed to send Maurice Starr (a.k.a. The General, and creator of New Kids on the Block) a thank you note.He was responsible for letting me meet and fall in love with this amazing guy.An amazing guy whose hands were beginning to wander.Justin was beginning to feel amorous, which would be fine under any other circumstances. 
 

"What else did you notice about me?" I asked.Fair is fair, after all. 
 

"Your ass." 
 

"Justin!" 
 

"Well, I did!I ain't gonna lie, T.Your ass was just like ... POW!In my face!Then I saw your face and I guess you're right ... something was there.I just liked you.Dunno why, I just did.I couldn't believe you came back to the hotel, I could tell you didn't roll like that.Why did you?What did you think would happen?"He slowly traced circles around the mounds of my breasts underneath the t-shirt I had on. My mind was already wandering towards what his hands were doing rather than the conversation we were having. 
 

"Umm...” It was hard to concentrate on anything other than his hands but I tried."I didn't know... I figured you'd try to hook up but I also figured I'd shoot you down.But when I got there and you were so ... forget this!I'm not pumping up your ego!"Because believe me, I could've gone on forever about his eyes and his dancing and our chemistry and how sexy he was.And he got way too much of that already. 
 

He chuckled again."That's not all that's pumped up, T ... scoot over, baby."I complied, moving the junk food over and lay my head on the pillow while he stretched out beside me.Once he was comfortable, he pulled my leg over so that I was straddling him and I could feel how hard he was through the boxers he had on.Lust shot through me, liquefying my veins. 
 

"J ... I told you I didn't feel... I don't want to do it now..." He wasn't listening, lifting up my shirt so that his tongue could tease and suck on my nipples.The feel of his breath and the deft movements of his tongue made me begin to feel dizzy. 
 

"It's okay, babe ...we're just fooling around.We don't have to do anything, I promise."As he talked, his hands went to my hips and pushed me down onto him even harder, rocking back and forth against me. It felt so good that I closed my eyes and leaned back against his knees to give him better access to me. 
 

"You're not gonna want to stop,” I whispered a warning to him as he rocked against me with a strong, steady rhythm.Between that and the sweet torture he was inflicting on my breasts, I knew I couldn't stop him even if I wanted to.He was so hard and thick against me, it felt absolutely delicious. 
 

He gave me a lazy half-smile with half-closed eyes, letting me know I was right-- he was turned on just as much as I was."No, I won't... but I will.Can't I just watch you?I like watching you, baby. 
 

My eyes fluttered open and I licked my lips, catching glimpses of him watching me through my lashes."Watch me do what?"
 

Drool?Gimme a few more seconds of this, J. 
 

"Come...let me watch you, baby ... I feel you so f*cking hot and soft on me ... feel me pushing into you?You like that?"He kept it up while he kept moving, the tempo just quick enough to keep the tension building but not too slow to get me to the edge I wanted so badly."Mmm ... Tara, I love that way you feel.I think about it all the time, every night before I go to sleep I think about the look in your eyes right before you come all around me ... do it, baby..." 
 

As always, the sound of his voice softly titillating me pushed me over quickly and waves of ecstasy crashed over me.I slumped down onto him, weak from the pleasure surging through my body.He kept talking to me, bringing me down from the exquisite high he'd just gifted me with.And boy, was he right -- my cramps and any other pain in my body vanished and I was left in a trembling heap. 
 

He did it to me every time. 
 

I lay there for a few minutes while he rubbed my back and hair, still whispering to me."Feel better, baby?" 
 

Did I ever.
 

"Mmmm," I murmured into his neck, giving it soft kisses."That was ... yeah, I feel better, sweetie.Lots better... but what about you?"I got some much-needed relief, but he was still hard as ever.Slipping my hand down between us, I slowly caressed his length and he groaned. 
 

"I'll be all right...I just need a minute."His eyes were closed and I could tell he was frustrated.I wanted to make it better ... so I decided to try something that I hadn't before.The few times I'd attempted it he always stopped me and I didn't know why.Now seemed like a perfect time to try again -- after all, he'd done it for me many times!Moving off of him, I slid down his body a little and began to unbutton his jeans.Sure enough, he stopped my hand. 
 

"No, T... it's okay." 
 

No, it wasn't.What was the problem?Did he think I couldn't do it right? 
 

"Why not?You always stop me...do you not like that?"I was beginning to get a complex.I was no expert, but ... I knew what I was doing! 
 

He shook his head vigorously."No, hell no!" 
 

"No, what?You like it or you don't?" 
 

"I do like it, what guy doesn't?It just feels ... it doesn't feel right, T, you doing that." 
 

What?Huh? 
 

"Why?"What the hell was he talking about? 
 

He shook his head again, seemingly at a loss for words."No ... I mean, it's like ... girls that I don't really know do that.Like ... it feels like it doesn't mean anything ... you know?" 
 

Groupies.That's what he was talking about.I wasn't an idiot.So in a roundabout way he was being respectful of me and that was awesome.But if we really were boyfriend and girlfriend then nothing between us should feel sordid, right?It was all just us expressing ourselves to each other.And I shared this with him because that is how it should be if we're really together. 
 

"It's because of groupies, isn't it?That doesn't have anything to do with you and me, J."Does it?Should it? 
 

He sighed."This is crazy, T, no it doesn't have anything to do with you or us.It's just a respect thing, I can't explain it.I just don't want you to feel like you gotta do something for me, you know?" 
 

I sort of understood but sort of didn't.I did get that he was trying to be respectful, although logic didn't really follow.And I appreciated it, but I still wanted to do something for him -- because I wanted to. 
 

"I don't feel like I have to do anything, J, I want to."While I spoke, I slid lower until I was at eye level with his crotch, and then began to unzip his pants.He didn’t put up any resistance when I pulled his pants down, even kicking them off to assist me. 
 

"Are you sure?" he asked just before I leaned over and took him in my mouth.Hearing his deep sigh was the most wonderful sound I'd ever heard, and his hands went directly to my hair.He caressed my scalp while I caressed him with my tongue, teasing, licking and sucking on the taut, hot skin.I must've been doing something right because he groaned, cursed, and sighed over and over again, calling out my name. 
 

This was something so intimate that I'd only done it with one other person, and as a result was feeling extremely self-conscious about it.Therefore I tried to work it like I've never done before and I felt like a porn star, flipping my hair around and trying to watch him while I did it.The best part for me was the power that I felt from giving him pleasure.Using only my lips and tongue, I elicited the most incredible responses from him.Yeah, it was awesome. I wasn't so crazy about the last part, but I dealt with it. 
 

If you know what I mean. 
 

"Sh*t," he said later, when we were cuddled together again."Maybe I was wrong." 
 

I just smiled to myself, burying my face in the crook of his arm.I know I said it was all just about self-expression, but still, the first time a girl does that -- you know you're shy after!"So ... you like it?" 
 

He squeezed me tightly, making me giggle and gasp for air."What do you think?" 
 

"Well, judging from your reaction ...I'd guess yeah?" 
 

He laughed louder, and hugged me harder."Baby ...you're just ...you're just my princess.Damn!"
 

The princess thing again. How I love that word he called me."What?" 
 

"I'm just so glad that you tripped over that f*cking piece of plastic, baby.F*ck it, I'm so glad Maurice Starr created the New Kids on the f*cking Block so we could meet." 
 

Heh.He knew who The General was.He so was a former New Kids fan. 
 

"Me, too, baby," I kissed him."The General is our Cupid and doesn't even know it." 
 

He frowned."Who the f*ck is The General?"
 

That was so the wrong question to ask a former New Kids on the Block fan club president at the Holton Arms School!I spent the next hour schooling him on the New Kids.He'll never forget who The General is again.
 

Oh yeah, and we even named that special 'thing' The General.The only bad side?Every other time we did that, I thought about Maurice Starr!

:-(

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